-
EWW!
What’s the first thing every pregnant lady does when she finds out she’s pregnant? That’s simple: takes a bunch of photos of the stick and stores it in a safe place. It’s the first gross thing you’ll do as a mom, but totally worth it!
-
MORNING SICKNESS?
Try all day sickness. Blessed are those who have none or little sickness. The worst part is when you’re starving, but you can’t eat anything because you will puke, for sure. Many women lose weight in the first trimester all because of this nasty side effect.
-
THE ETERNAL QUESTION
To pee or not to pee, that is not the question! It’s always pee time, even if you just went. Seriously, what does that baby do inside? It feels like playing kickball with the bladder. Of course, it happens always at the worst time possible.
-
CAN I EAT THIS?
There is no junk food in your house. Why? Because you ate it all. In fact, you probably ate everything that was edible last night at 3 AM. Don’t get me started on the weird food combos. Pickles and peanut butter, really?
-
WHERE DID I PUT IT?
Are those…are those key in the fridge and mayo in your purse? Good thing you didn’t leave the house with those things. Pregnancy brain is one tough cookie. Just wait until it surprises you next! You can end up with ice cream under your pillow.
-
AAAND IT’S LOST!
Dropping something while your pregnant means you have to say goodbye to that thing…forever! Sure, it’s all rainbows and butterflies at first, but when you get into the third trimester, it’s super hard to reach everything, especially your shoes. Better find some slip-ons, mummy.
-
I’VE GOT NOTHING TO WEAR!
A full wardrobe of clothes and you’ve got nothing to wear? Yup, that’s pregnancy! Face it: leggings are your BFFs and your hubbies T-shirts as well. You can only dream about the time you wore skinny jeans and tight tops. Comfort comes over fashion.
-
HELP ME!
Try jumping out of bed when you’re pregnant. It simply can’t happen! There’s too much rolling and sliding to the edge of the bed just to get up. Sometimes you just feel like a turtle stuck on the back, don’t you? Oh, don’t get me started on switching position while sleeping!
-
CAN’T TOUCH THIS!
Is there anything more annoying than people touching your belly without asking? No, the baby won’t kick on demand, nor is your touch special. People, it’s weird to go around and touch women’s bellies. My body, my rules! Get your own huge bump to pet.
-
AM I GROWING AN ALIEN?
When the baby kicks it’s super sweet; that’s when your maternal instinct wakes up. That kicking gets weirder with time. Your belly will stretch in all the possible directions. Sometimes you’ll even ask yourself: Am I growing an alien inside of me?
-
YOU’VE GOTTEN SO BIG!
What are we, ten? That’s not a compliment. Every pregnant woman hates to hear how much weight she gained or how big her belly is. There are two hearts beating inside of one body, and that’s enough to pay respect.
-
I CAN’T SEE MY FEET!
Not only you can’t see your feet, but they’ve probably gotten bigger. Some pregnant ladies can’t fit in their shoes anymore, because they’ve gone up a size or two. Swelling is one of the nastiest parts of this journey. Will it end after giving birth? Only if you’re the lucky one.
-
SLEEPING POSITIONS
Is a fortress of pillows your ordinary night routine? Then you probably know what it’s like to find the best sleeping position. On your back? A big no! Sides are okay, but they’re starting to hurt badly. Don’t you wish you could float in mid-air and sleep at the same time?
-
DO THE WADDLE
I’m not a penguin, I’m just pregnant! You might find it’s cute to see me waddle, but you haven’t carried a watermelon-sized baby and tried to function normally. It’s a miracle pregnant ladies can even walk in the third trimester.
-
AM I GLOWING YET?
They told me I will glow. Well, they lied. Where’s that pregnancy glow? Did it miss just me or other preggers too? My hair never looked so terrible, nor my skin. I feel more like a chimp than a beautiful pregnant lady.
-
TIRED…SO TIRED!
Carrying a big bump is a hard chore. Walking around with it when gravity kicks in are even harder. They say tiredness is a symptom in the first trimester. Boy, did they lie! The last few months before the baby arrives you’ll spend sleeping a lot. In other words, you’ll feel like a sloth.
-
IS IT DONE YET?
All months have thirty or thirty-one days, except the last month of pregnancy. It’s got 3031 days! Just when you feel you can’t take it any longer, the baby will pop out. The problem is going through that annoying last few days before it happens.
-
TOO MANY EMOTIONS
Wow, that last episode of The Walking Dead was so touching, wasn’t it? Oh, those poor zombies, *sniff, sniff*. Pregnancy is that one period when you feel too emotional even about the stupidest things. If I cry that much, will I pee less? If only that was true.
-
TO SNEEZE OR NOT TO SNEEZE
You think giving birth is hard? Try sneezing in the last trimester without peeing yourself a little. Pregnancy is the period when you lose control over everything, especially your body. You can only hope there are plenty of panty liners in the world to help you with this problem.
-
SHOPPING SPREE
Did the nesting phase kick in yet? Pregnant ladies will understand the shopping mania. You need everything before the baby arrives; God forbid you miss on something. Having a hard pregnancy means shopping for baby stuff is one of the few joyful things left to do.
